Sunday, December 5, 2010
I always have so much to say/write sometimes I don't know what to say/write.
Today I resolved the last barrier to writing the Captive sequel. Odd, in that I already have about a hundred pages written. But that draft was forced (an external deadline that killed the draft) and I've been trying to unriddle it ever since.
A walk on the beach with a neighbor I met a week or so ago (we run into each other on morning jogs). An email exchange with a friend of a friend that read the book.
Commitment has never been my strong point; I can sometimes do it. I do commit. But doing so isn't a natural leap. And, the crux of the conversation came down to owning your life and choices; accepting that there is no way out and that you've made mistakes. Self acceptance is the central point in that if you can't accept your own role in the life you create you can't fully commit to what's around you.
Why are we our own out? Because we want to be.
So, I now need to decide who commits to what in the sequel. And only by committing can you fully engage (the rest is escape). Did my characters commit in Captive? What held them prisoner? Obligation or a true commitment? Can you escape those ties?
My biggest commitment is to my children and they bring me the greatest joy I've known in life. I committed to this book; what a lot of work - but I believe in it.
What to do? I'll have to write it all out.
The tree? A surprise for my kids. One commitment I made this weekend; to their happiness and pleasure.