In defense of not doing what really matters

Paolo Coelho, or so I read, writes for eight hours then does social media for three. I’m full of excuses (and don’t live up to his standard though I’m in awe). Work-wise, and in many other areas I’m pretty disciplined.

But I meander, day dream, listen to music (Spotify and itunes both!), scan most forms of media, play with perfume and my blackberry. Currently I’m obsessed with my new Smash journal/scrapbook and am looking at pictures for “inspiration”. I read a Vanity Fair article on Lady Gaga and most of the Sunday New York Times this morning. I don’t go to the store often enough to keep my kids in strawberries and I’d love to ride my bike on the beach today but haven’t gotten it fixed. Mostly I pay my bills on time but I left a birthday party early yesterday (to write/edit, BTW).

The reality is that we make choices with our time, resolve and discipline. Making the (online) world circuit now is Mark Zuckerberg’s desk sign of Stay Focused and Keep Shipping. Those few words pretty much sum up our cluttered worlds…we make the choices that lead to the consequences but can’t do it all. He ships and thus built a billion dollar company. We all have intent and even discipline but do we complete things?

My sequel to Captive is almost done and the revisions are coming slower than I’d like. But they’re coming. I resurrected a different book from over ten years ago and it’s currently being reviewed by a friend who will help me decide whether it ranks another revision or the trash bin. My next project is in outline form awaiting my attention.

Four hundred pages is a lot to write. I forget what I wrote periodically and need to re-read to remind myself. Nothing could be (much) harder than the revisions. I “ship” by not doing other things. Ask my friends or kids’ school. I don’t show up to many flag lines or dinners (and less right now as I’m cramming to finish this book and start my new project). I don’t cook well anymore, don’t watch television and rarely see movies. My closets are a mess and I really need to throw a lot of things away. I don’t meditate and keep ignoring my blogs. I don’t care.

I still spend time with people (friends and family), read books, do yoga or run on the beach and shower.

But at the end of the day I need to “ship”. And I need to be a good mother to my children. The rest matters, don’t get me wrong …. because it all matters. But today it matters just that little bit less; tomorrow all bets are off and my priorities will likely shift again. Sometimes you can’t do it all; then what really matters doesn’t matter quite so much.

How writing a novel is like starting a company

Lucky or unlucky, I’m an action oriented person. Always happy to jump into new challenges I must hold myself back…recognizing that time is a limited commodity and doing a thorough analysis before undertaking a major commitment is essential (otherwise lots of unfinished projects!).

Currently, I’m buried deep in revising draft one of a sequel to Captive (at over 400 pages) and nursing a business plan. How to allocate my time and give each their proper attention and chance at success? Well luckily the two projects aren’t as diverse as they may sound and the skills required are very similar in many ways. But first I want to draw a distinction between writing a novel and writing non-fiction: in my opinion, non-fiction is much more predictable and structured, though not necessarily less creative.

So how is writing a novel like starting a company?

1. Creativity is an absolute must. One could argue that all stories have been told and indeed the best ones are variations of the classic story lines. Likewise, many new companies are only reinventing what has already come before or tweaking a new reality. Thus in both cases, seeing the possibilities in the marketplace or on the page differently is key to success.

2. Start with an outline or business plan but be prepared to deviate as necessary. Characters and marketplaces take on a life of their own and evolve seemingly beyond our control. When that happens, react (not over react) appropriately to meet the new realities and create a better end product.

3. Life changes: adapt. Selling and marketing a novel is so different from the standard paths of even last year with digital and bookstore realities evolving as we watch. Creativity and adaptability are now required off the page as well as on the page. When starting a company change also has a big impact on the original idea’s long term prospects. Markets, competitors, regulations, consumer choices, and the like all evolve and any new (or old) company needs to be reactive to these changes.

4. The idea is only the beginning; more important is the execution. Stephen King wasn’t the first to write a Kennedy book but his may sell the most when all is said and done. Neither Facebook nor Google was the first company in their industry sector.

5. Steal ideas if you want to succeed; just tweak them in a new way. Different from point one in that you can do better by learning from others and shouldn’t be ashamed to try. This point in is response to a shared post I saw earlier today mocking “piracy” and “plagiarism”. Don’t steal if doing so is illegal (such as with piracy or proprietary and protected technology) and don’t plagiarize. But do model the best and steal freely their ways.

6. Discipline and complete absorption into the new world you’re creating is essential. Starting something is easy; finishing and succeeding at building something great is very difficult. Successful people always work hard.

7. If you don’t market, what you create is just a hobby.

8. You will face a lot of naysayers. While I’d like to say that most are just jealous or too scared to do the same sometimes they are just more able to see that the risks of success are small. So be it. Not everyone wants to change the world.

9. You can change the world through your efforts! Not all novels or companies will do so but by innovating and creating something new and different you at least have a shot.

10. You will doubt yourself, your abilities and your judgment at some point. Get over it or you won’t succeed. No fully sane person ever sits down to write a novel or start a company (the risks are too high); find the inner resources to keep going.

11. Once done you will have created something new and (hopefully) different. You are an innovator and driver not spectator. What could be cooler than that?

I’m sure I could keep adding to the list but would only cloud my point. With the costs of self publishing or starting certain types of businesses plummeting and the traditional career paths not working as well, right now is a great time to try something new. The basic requirements are few but essential. Dare to dream?

Now, back to writing a long piece and not a blog….

Picture by Lauren

The importance of drafts

My drafts aren’t always very good. In fact, my first drafts are usually pretty bad. Right now I’m doing a cram revision of something I wrote about ten years ago so that I can (hopefully) submit it to the forthcoming Amazon novel competition.

The good news is that reading something I wrote so long ago shows me how much my writing has improved. The bad news is that I may not be able to get it in submission shape in time (I’ll submit it anyway as only the first 20 pages show up on the site so I can keep on revising it after the submission; If I lose so be it, but I can’t even place if I don’t submit).

But drafts are the bones that form the eventual finished product. They lay out the map upon which I can build something more substantial or better. Some people can write a more complete and polished first draft than I can. For me, these blog postings end up needing (in my opinion) only the faintest of touch ups while longer thought pieces are just jots of notes (which go through more than one massive re-write). We all write differently.

What have I learned revising something I wrote so long ago? When starting on pieces that are hundreds of pages long I was much too wordy and didn’t build the backgrounds well enough. The book needed little research but the fact that I did none is glaring. The story is there but it needs to be better developed and the characters need to shut up once and a while. I can see in the narrative all of the lessons I later learned from my writing teachers at UCLA.

I’m learning about my writing and myself (all writing is ultimately about ourselves…at least in fiction…). Most of all I’m seeing firsthand how persistence and a dedication to creating the best piece I can is worth the time and effort. Most things worth having don’t come easily but there is a reward for that effort. Work pays off; in unexpected ways somehow but there’s always a reward. I’m so excited to find a draft of something that may never be a great book but that I can craft it into a really very good one. The process is grueling but I can see a good story emerging!

Punk Rock Circa 2012

This post I originally put on my investment banking blog (IBLA.US) but think it belongs here as well
Or, why iterative changes matter more than disruptive ones.

Punk rock erupted in 1974 as a response to the excesses of the mainstream 1970s rock world (big bands, big shows and big hair; more focused on business than music/audience; arrogance; bad music). Punk music was hard, fast paced and raw, with shorter songs and less instrumentation. Oftentimes a political or anti-establishment message was worked in. Audiences loved the authenticy and accessibility. And what is rock music if not rebellious (corporate wasn’t cutting it)? These artists struggled in the real world like we did. A subculture developed. The movement spread.

Remind you of YouTube and the Arab Spring?

The online content world (today) is exciting, original and creative. It’s raw and funny, inappropriate and not subject to committee. It’s fun and not (as) interrupted by commerciasl. And it’s engaging, at a personal level. My son’s YouTube favorite, Nice Peter (and his partner Epic Lloyd) comment on the related YouTube videos made by their fans, even those with little traffic. How cool is that!
Online content can be produced at such inexpensive levels (my own Captive related videos were shot on a Flip and edited with iMovie). It’s also audience focused with a lot of online content driven in response to viewer feedback and suggestions. My son discusses the viewer suggestions for future Epic Rap Battles of History with great excitement. Best of all, the cost structure allows it to avoid a generic “mass” audience appeal; creators can afford to make mistakes and take related risks. Spared star salaries and expensive marketing, content can be posted quickly and doesn’t have to look perfect to justify a $15 movie ticket or $1.29 download.

Those new rules hold true for video, music and books (education, too, btw).
Watching my children I see how they personalize and customize their content. They don’t watch anything on a pre-set schedule. They multi-media. And my kids prefer YouTube to television or movies (they like television and movies too; but as I’ve already commented here, my daughter at nine had already stated that movie sequels were made to trick children). They read both paper books and Kindle books, choosing based on convenience and availability (those instant downloads are a huge selling point).

Taking over from my (fired) publisher, I’ve learned how easy book distribution can be (marketing is very, very hard). Online, it’s also inexpensive and price points can change at will. I’m pondering all sorts of possibilities in the book world and find the options more empowering than limiting. I’m not alone as online content continues to explode. My costs to play around with business models are nominal to the extent that I’m even pondering starting an online publishing house (interested writers?).

Media is tough because the market is so cluttered that building a loyal audience can be a challenge. But people succeed; in all industries. For a writer, the large publishers offering digital books at $16 plus dollars is insanity. Is that book sixteen times better than one at $.99? What about the free one? Do you want people to test the alternative waters to make that decision?

I grew up in and out of Silicon Valley and love to watch an evolving industry. My one conclusion to this post is to point out that iterative destruction is more potentially damaging that is creative destruction. People can figure out how to watch a video online (an iteration combining the internet and television). They may not embrace bigger and more disruptive changes so readily. The creation of the Internet didn’t damage the traditional media business; people incorporating it into their lives over time did. No laws can limit digital content consumption

Cliché s on New Year’s day

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened
Dr. Seuss

Sure, I should have posted this two days ago; see above, I got busy (and will stay smiling in my lateness).

Dr. Seuss was about as far from cliché as cliché gets. We aren’t all so original. I personally couldn’t imagine such vibrant and unusual characters). I had a writing professor at UCLA Extension (Les Plesko) who used to hammer us about clichés in what we read aloud from our writing during class. He was always right; and the resulting words could be painful to hear. We all cliché.

Dictionary.com defines a cliché as: a trite or stereotyped expression. Yes. The great (or not so great thing) about writing classes is learning how much we (me) say/write that falls under that rubric. And when you want to shock people don’t use the obvious cliché (which can often be the social answer or statement in a situation). Even the imaginative fall into the easy altogether too often.

My New Year’s day was full of clichés! Both in word and action (I even had Champagne the night before with a friend). At yoga I wished everyone a happy new year. Smiled. Did my down dog. I called my family. I relaxed by the fire. Even got just a little bit of work done. Read. Socialized. It was comforting. And that’s why clichés survive! They’re easy, comforting and get the point across in a non-threatening way.

So I enjoyed my cliché day.

And my trite New Year’s resolution is to be more active on my blogs, social networks and Twitter (its own category). I work at it (so hard!) and then get distracted (a cliché excuse and one that many others will use with respect to their own resolutions).

Happy New Year (cliché)

Not coping during the holidays

Once and a while the upbeat American attitudes get on my nerves. I’m naturally a very upbeat person; a yoga addict I’ve also learned to view my world with more balance. Thus I realize that all qualities are both good and bad (being upbeat can earn you “insensitive” as well).

Reading Joan Didion’s new book Blue Nights I was awed by her ability to write with such raw pain. I waver on whether or not to write about myself and her fearlessness in doing so was admirable. She’s brutal on herself in the book and, in my opinion, really hasn’t coped with her daughter’s death. Why must we always put on a happy face or spin positive? Why must we always “cope”?

My family is pretty dysfunctional (anyone else?). As a child I lied about it; I now usually accept it. But holidays can be trying.

So in defense of all of those who sometimes don’t cope, and don’t even want to cope until ready, I have a few new holiday rules. When I’m perfect perhaps I’ll apologize for them but until then:

1. Some gifts are unlikable, insensitive and a waste of money. Smile anyway but feel free to toss them to a local charity ASAP.
2. You don’t have to want to see everyone you’ll see during the holidays. Smile for your own benefit not out of obligation (sometimes the best way to be in a good mood is to force it).
3. Be in a bad mood sometimes. Don’t fight it (just don’t cling to it).
4. If you eat or drink too much forget about it and start afresh the next day (a Weight Watchers rule).
5. It’s okay to buy yourself a Christmas/holiday present.
6. Get mad as appropriate but try to keep your mouth shut. You may be right but saying it to someone who isn’t listening does no good (and makes the day worse for those around you). If you do say it, apologize for saying (not believing) it and move on.
7. Get tired. Take a break.
8. Throw the food you don’t want to eat away.
9. Accept that people will be mad, depressed, unreasonable or even crazy. That’s their problem.
10. This too shall pass.
11. Appreciate being alive and healthy (or whatever it is you have to appreciate) instead of brooding over what you can’t control.
12. Or just brood.
13. The New Year is an immediate “start over”; make it your new favorite holiday.
14. Some food is icky.
15. Some people really don’t behave; try not to be one of them but if you do apologize and forgive yourself.
16. Spend time with some children during the holidays.
17. Donate…to get out of yourself.
18. Make your own list of holiday survival rules.
19. We all ultimately have a relationship with ourselves first. Respect yourself regardless and aim higher next time.
20. Spend time outside, reading a novel or on a stupid web site (email me for suggestions).
21. Forgive.

This post will never be my favorite one because it’s a bit silly. But it made me feel better (write a dumb blog posting?!). I recommend that you read Didion’s book if you want to see the raw emotion of someone who dares not to cope, and write about it. Let’s all aim to do a little bit better next year.

Picture of Maine from Steve K.

Today’s Meaning in Chaos?

I didn’t get enough done today. That reality isn’t exactly my norm but let’s just say it happens more than I’d like. My kids had a half day at school today (not the usual) so I’ve had to make adjustments for that change.

But the bigger thing about today is that I got many, many little things done but no big one. With continual interruptions that goal seemed like the best way to plan my tasks. It feels less satisfying and productive.

I grew up in chaos; thus I’m not a big fan of chaos; I handle it well. Mostly. Too much chaos and one never knows, I might just freak out (I’m also a control freak, a dual partner from having too little control as a child). But chaos leading to a loss of control is a reality of life.

Dictionary.com defines chaos as: a state of utter confusion or disorder; a total lack of organization or order. Life is just like that.


So how did I find meaning in my chaos today?

1. I lowered my expectations.
2. I picked tasks that didn’t require too much focus (no writing the final – hopefully - thrilling scenes in my book).
3. I accepted last minute changes to the schedule; and hadn’t calendared any crucial tasks.
4. Went for a beach run…even though it put me behind schedule.
5. I avoided stressful people and situations (not good to push my limits on a day when time is moving much faster than I am)
6. I settled on a simple blog posting and not the more exciting one I’d been planning to write (the importance of an idea and its relationship to execution…coming).
7. I reminded myself that my kids and their friends will only be around for so long before they disappear into college and their own lives (gratitude).

The underlying theme is we all only have so much control. When chaos hits, it’s what you’ve done before that provides grounding for how we cope and survive (or even thrive) with it.

Profound? No, when I can focus and concentrate more! But I like this topic as I ponder my own search for meaning. I’ll be thinking and writing again about predictability, order and chaos and how they impact our concept of life. If we don’t learn how to define our own meaning in the midst of a chaotic and ever changing world then our search will never end. The related saying we all know: the only things for sure in life are death and taxes.

My meaning for today was spending extra time with four kids I adore and have known since they were much smaller. I got to actually notice how much they’ve matured even while they haven’t changed so much. And I learned that I’ll be okay if I don’t finish writing my next book today

The photo is of a Hawaiian beach and taken by my friend Kenny (thank you)!