On not sleeping and I am

Little sleep for me last night; I've been up since 3:00 am.  Luckily, I've long believed that one bad night's sleep does little harm...it's a continued lack of sleep that gets you.  And, my yoga teachers have guided me through this...as I tend not to sleep when something is on my mind.  Tom...you need rest not sleep...Steve...3:00 to 5:00 am is the most spiritual time of the day.  My mom...you need to sort things out and this is your way of doing it.

I have been pushed to grow so much this year!!!!  Whether I wanted to do so or not.  To my credit I embraced the opportunity though sometimes it overwhelms.  And with the level of creative work I've been doing professionally this year the next result has been a little dream like at times.  No wonder I keep diving into the colors of makeup...they are tangible and present.

Last night before bed I needed to take in....having spent the past two weeks putting too much out.  There is a proper balance.  Creation is impossible without the input necessary to conceptualize something from scratch.  I Am That, by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj was my choice.  Lately I've been doing my favorite thing of the day...being too busy to delve deeper.  But this book is vast so I want to handle it differently.

First, the book is profound.  Indeed, so much so that it isn't an easy read.  Almost every line has meaning and helps us/me ground ourselves/myself  into the reality of life.  I am, the author discusses, which is basically the only reality that matters.  I've been confronted numerous times this year with the question of who I am...one I hadn't really contemplated much before.  When you really think about it the answer is harder than initially assumed.  Too often we identify with what we do not who we really are.  Perhaps our actions define our person?  Maybe not.  Maharaj maintains that it's easier to say what we are not than what we are.  And from there we can begin defining who we are.

I went to a very Los Angeles event last week.  While there I watched too many chasing after what they should do...to define who they think they must be?  I don't know - but I observed manic need all around me.  I didn't six months ago.