It’s almost 7:00 pm and I’m just going to get a little more done today….
I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain, to see if it’s still real
Sings Johnny Cash.
Ha!
I’m looking at a spiral notebook with the simple notes that define what will be on my Facebook page and website now that the related book is truly almost done.
I don’t know. Come on, really, from nothing? Yes.
And I still pause to change my page spacing from one to one point five because I can’t write this otherwise (the spacing distracts me).
But the concept is the hardest part. And it’s what sets apart good from great. But can I do it? Gosh, you know, I don’t know.
Working for someone was so easy because there were expectations, a role and a job. Now there is a blank spiral notebook and the vast expanses of my mind…a cavern...bills… And I can see what I want in five years so clearly but the notebook is just blank paper. But I don’t care and neither does the blank whiteness of the paper. The puzzle from today to then is just a solvable problem and the blank page is a job spec…I’m hiring someone to do the work…if I can figure out their job requirement. So they’ll tell me what will work and what won’t?
But I still see a blank page. Just a ….
Blue…my favorite…or orange….which doesn’t always look so great online which makes it different and unexpected? How many photos and spaced across the site or limited in usage? How much text? With a blog or not? Draw in parents, teachers or students? Or do I want them all? What do I want?
Building something is a skill but much has to be instinct, right? Otherwise how come it’s so easy for some (seemingly) while others work super hard for nothing? I’ve always had to work hard to achieve basically anything, no matter how easily the actual work sometimes seemed. Thus I have no illusions. I’ll make mistakes. And my friends will tell me all about it. And I’ll update(fix). Iterate, pivot or just plain ditch one idea for another.
But it’s all good, right? Because this quagmire is just is what I need to do for now and when that changes so will I. But for now it will have to be perfect, or enough, or the start of something new. Or none of the above and more a hope and prayer. Ugh. My page is still blank though I’ve managed to fill this one…
The website will be….? Oh yes, that.
